Possibly the most insightful/over-analytical rejection we've ever recieved.

Sunday, August 21, 2011, 02:45 am

Dear xxxxx. It makes me very, very sad that whatever mis-communication we've had has been received in a certain way. I think you are one of the most beautiful, interesting and intriguing people I've met. All I want to do is to have you for myself an kiss you in the shadows of the skyscrapers. I feel a rare connection when I look into your eyes, but maybe that is an illusion. Please let me know if I'm right or wrong. Silence will be translated in 'fuck off". X

Sunday, August 21, 2011, 01.23 pm

Xxxx --


You are a darling. Your honesty and "just do it" or "just say it" approach to life are remarkable. I really respect and appreciate these qualities in you. Your positivism is as well 'super awesome'.


Yes, I think there has been some miscommunication between the two of us. I did always feel something special (different might be a better word) with you. You are weird across the board though (even weirder than me I dare say; which is saying something) and so...I just took it as part of that weirdness. I'm not sure. I think (the whole eye thing) was me trying to perceive what the fuck you were thinking. One minute I would think that you liked me but then the next I would think that you thought all that I was a facade and behind it all there was in actuality nothing (of respect); to which you reveled in knowing that I was but a fraud. I'm exaggerating but needless to say I had no idea what you thought and after a while I just didn't fucking care because I basically thought you were insane (and I know who I am and I am increasingly resilient to not caring what other people think of me). I I left it because relations between the two of us normally were fine. There wasn't anything that affected our relationship as friends or as 'professional colleagues'. Beyond that, whatever else that was going on in your head just didn't feel worth the effort of trying to figure out or perhaps more appropriately it didn't feel worth the effort because it seemed like literally like an unsolvable riddle. I apologize for not being more forward in communicating this sense of confusion. You seem like a smart girl so I felt like you must be semi cognizant that you were giving me messages that were all over the board. So, as it turns out it is all just your sense of my humour and my poor sense of humour as you like to think just wasn't able to interpret or pick up on that humour. Anyway....


So...I don't really want all this to interfere what we do have. To be clear, no, I don't want to make out. But I do want to hang out. You're great and I think you know this. Know it better than ever.


=> When would work for you to go check out this Thoreau Centre this coming week?

all the best,

Xxxxx

Ah, Swedish men. Or Stockholmers to be precise. You surely know how to treat girls and behave like gentlemen. Our favorites from tonight must be; "Sure, we can make out the next time I'm coming to New York City, or in 35-40 years" or comparable with the even less diplomatic "You need to chill".
THANK YOU.WE LOVE YOU GUYS. YOU MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING. IT IS A PLEASURE BEING AROUND YOU, assholes.

RIP - He looks like a younger, nerdier Fares Fares

Stockholm, October 2009

We meet by coincidence a few weeks back at Riche.
Hadn't really thought about you at all and we smile at each other.
You're standing so close that I can feel your perfume stick to my clothes.

- So, have you acquired any gentleman-y skills since last time?
- No.

You ask what's going on in my life, what I'm doing tonight and tell me about your professional racquet ball career and a part time job as an accountant. We talk about ping pong and how much fun we had last time. We are clearly flirting with each other.

- Do you have a boyfriend?
- No. Do you have a girlfriend?
- No. (Pause.) Well, it's complicated. We are on a break.
- Aha, the famous 'break'. You know, I don't mind because it's not like I am gonna fall in love with you. I only want to sleep with you anyway.
- Really?
- Yeah, you can call me tomorrow, next week or the week after that. (We haven't learned to master the art of playing hard to get yet, and in this town we are happy with whatever is up for grabs.)
- I really appreciate the honesty, you say and laugh. Then you look up my number in your phone and I do the same, although I can't find you.
- I think I deleted it after last time.
You seem very surprised and suddenly you are a bit reluctant in giving it to me.
- Because of my whole girlfriend situation. You know it might not be so good if you text me.
- Well, at least I need to have it so I can see who's calling.

I get you number, we talk some more and then you are heading home.

Nina and I go to Spyan and as I am dancing I notice there aren't so many attractive guys and I have a distinct feeling that you wanted to go home with me tonight. But I am also just enjoying the prospect of our affiliation. So, I send a message saying;
"Hej och ursäkta för att jag kontaktar dig så sent. Vill bara upplysa om att firman snarast och oftast är i behov av dina administrativa tjänter. Mvh Xxxx AB"

You reply something like;
"Haha, I'm at Spy bar and I just saw you. That was a funny text but it's not working, I'm in love with my girlfriend."

At this point I ask myself why you just didn't come up and said 'Hi' or why you two hours ago said you did not have a romantic companion. But instead of being equally rude, I write back that "That's really wonderful and in that case I think you should be an ambassador for those couples how are actually in love. I just wanted to make out with you anyway."

I am having so much fun that when Nina leaves I decide to stay by myself at Spy bar. That in itself is an indication that you really should go home.

The next day around lunch I receive a text from you that might just be the most peculiar/appalling/funny thing we've ever received in an inbox;

"Hej Xxxx, jag har som sagt tjej. Bad dig å inte skicka sms ändå har du skickat. Radera mitt nummer är du snäll. Mvh Xxxx"

This is old news for those who read blogs of New York ad men, but for the rest of us it remains timeless.

To Kevin, June 9 at 9:02pm

Hey dude,
Hope all is well and the photo booth business is splendid. It’s not like I am impressed by your very gentlemanly behavior last week. Still, with the qualities of being a real American, having a car and being very handsome to look at I would enjoy hanging out with you (without the company of Jose, Dominican, Columbian or whatever shit the FDA recommends). I am almost certain you have plenty of other admirable character traits too. Take it easy. xoxox

From Kevin, June 9 at 11:41pm

Hey,
Thanks for writing.
Sure, we could hang some time.
Btw, did you get a morning after pill?

To Kevin, June 10 at 9:00pm

I did not and I am now pregnant with triplets. I've also filed for adoption of a boy from Malawi in your name. I hope you don't mind.

To Kevin, June 16 at 10:00pm

Hey dude,
My new number is 919 45x xxxx. Give me a call when you are in the city if you regain/acquire a sense of humor.
Kind regards, xoxo

Needless to say, we never heard from him again. And a sense of humor is still on the loose.